how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
