i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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