I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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