thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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