I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize