I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
