did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
