She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
