I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
