I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
