I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
