im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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