he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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