she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
