if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
