i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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