ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
