Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
