it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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