Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
