So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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