I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
