Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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