I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
