Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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