There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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