Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
