Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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