Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
