i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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