I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize