just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
