I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
