Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

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(256): View more from Alabama

A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

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(415): View more from California

i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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(305): View more from Florida

does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

can we drink soon

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night

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