Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
