so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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