Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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