let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
