doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
