everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
