Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need a beard to bite.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
