You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
