I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize