You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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