i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
