Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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