Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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