so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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