I'm going to jail i love you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
