apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
