Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
