Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Someone signed my nipple.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize