...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
