You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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