Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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