Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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