She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
