she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You pole danced in your parka.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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