The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize