Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
