come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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