I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
