I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
