I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
