I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
