i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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