Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
