In the future we'll all be gay
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
