Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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