that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
