This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
