Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
